To Live and Love Again and Again ...

Something happened today ... I'm not quite sure what it was but it felt good, very good indeed. Kind of like the fluttering of angel wings or the kiss of sunlight on your cheek.

You see for the past year or so I have been struggling to find a meaning to my life again. That's right "a new meaning" because you see there is not just one "meaning of life" there is a meaning of life for each and everyone of us - and sometimes many meanings for us in one lifetime!

If the gods had wanted us to be complacent with a "one shot life" I think that they would have probably not given us the many means that we have to our ends. Therefore, believe it or not, we cannot blame our destinys on anyone but ourselves for in the end, isn't it our own predictions that finally make things come true?

I have said before that we exist merely because we will it to be. Should we decide that we don't want to continue this journey then we can in fact stop it at any time. Therefore it is up to us to decide in which direction our life will take us.

I know, people say that it is Divine Providence or that it is the will of god but I disagree. We, all of us, are totally responsible for our actions and therefore our destinies. I know that I am  and I am thankful for the opportunity. So why not make the most of it and enjoy the challenge? Isn't it more fun to live and lose then to never have lived at all ...

Love you Jack ... Thanks for being my guiding light!

A Night of Kismet

Last night something magical happened ... a gathering of friends to honor a life, a relationship and a career. The event took place in an intimate setting overlooking majestic Lincoln Park. It was as if time had been suspended for a few hours so that the participants could bask in the pure joy and happiness of a golden couple who have given life and love to each other, to their family and to their friends as well. The accolades were many and heartfelt and the love in the room could be seen as it seemed to permeate every corner and everyone there.

Not many of such occasions occur these days. Unfortunately it seems that we live in a world of instant gratification and total self absorption ... we run from day to day and hour to hour with our lives embedded in our i-Phones, on our i-Pads and i-don't know what new electronic device next. Even I who have resisted this ADD world for so long have become caught up in it I fear. Never enough time and never enough gigabytes to satisfy our lust for life there is this desperate need for intimate interaction with our fellow humans but we can't seem to find how to get it.

Perhaps there is a simple answer to our dilemma. Could it be that all we really need to do to fulfill our lonely lives is to give ourselves to each other as friends and lovers ... to reach out and touch each other with our voices and minds and to be one with life and love, and each other? I for one know, and have known the true bliss that can occur when one is one with another ... that moment when you and time become one and the world seems to shine brighter. It is in that moment I think that we really shine!

A Stairway to the Stars

The curtain opens and there is this staircase that fills the stage. It is stark but impressive. You cannot see the top and it is dramatically lit so as to draw you upward in anticipation of a coming event. Perhaps it is the herald of a new day or it could be the end of one, but you won't know for sure until you climb it.

it is June and the weather has been interesting to say the least; Hot one day and cold the next ... Sunny and cloudy with wind and then not. There is an ancient Chinese curse which goes "may you live in interesting times", and I fear we are.

Today I am not sure once more in which direction I am headed. It could be the weather that is clouding my vision or maybe it is just the times. I have noticed of late that what used to be seems to not matter as much anymore and that which could be is no longer for sure.

Another birthday has passed forgotten by most and with a lonely anniversary upcoming I seem to be poised on the threshold of something new, but what it is I am not sure. Friendships and love affairs come and go but my heart is still contained as though locked in a jeweled box somewhere in eternity and I hold the only key, but have lost it.

Time has become my enemy and unless I can win it back ... I am stranded on this desolate shore. But wait, maybe it could be that the staircase which is calling to me is in fact a reminder that I am merely an actor in this mellow drama and it is time once again to change the set. First I think though I must climb that staircase to see what is there.