Being There

OK. I know that we all, in our way, deal with life on our own terms but today was another lesson at least for me. Determined not to live [or exist] in a state of blissful sedation, I ventured out into the messy world again, a world that Jack and I had disdained for so many years. Guess what? Life is messy and as long as we chose to exist, to feel and be there in the moment then we must be there every moment.

An old friend, of an old friend, opened up a restaurant recently and I had been neglectful in my absence. Tonight was my long and overdue reservation. Once again long seated energies that existed for so many years resurfaced and gave way yet another and more intimate encounter, a renewal of experiences past in the present.

Some times I think that we take much too much for granted. Everyday and always life needs to be renewed, reassured and, if you will, resurrected. Like any other energy care must be taken or the flame will burn out, the plant will wilt or the essence itself will cease to exist.

These past months have proven to be not so much of a trial as a lesson in living. It is easy to retreat into ourselves and sometimes necessary for brief periods at least. However, time must be taken to "listen to the silence", to "hush" our voices and to be one with forever if only for a moment.

The conclusion that I came to yesterday was that nothing is permanent, that everything is in flux and that tomorrow may not happen. But guess what? After all is said and done tomorrow might just happen in spite and if we aren't ready we will most definitely miss it.

A Midsummer Nights Dream

I had forgotten for a moment but guess what? Midsummer, also known as the summer solstice or the begining of summer, occurs between June 21st and the 23rd, depending on what your ethnic or religious roots are. How exciting that my "Pink Martini" Event is happening just then.

There are times in life when ritual and magic play a very important part. Whether Christian or Jewish, Moslum or Hindu there is a need to express the passage of seasons and the effect that they have on us. From time inmemorial we humans have been searching for answers to how, where and why. But in the end it always leads us back to the begining.

I have stopped asking questions about life. I have now begun to feel the meaning of this mystery, and it is just that. It is not the how as much as the how to. Not so much the where as how to get there. And definitely not the why because that is the reason for the for the first two.

The main reason for the Midsummer, Solstice, or Sukkot was and is a way to mark that time when the sun stands still in the heavens and bestows three days of timelessness. Three days of long and late light that warm us before the slow and deliberate darkness begins again. Three days to throw caution to the wind and revel in the joys and warmth of our new found beginnings. To dance and feast on the abundance of the season. But most of all, a time to gather and celebrate each other and to heal our winter wounds.

So wear your beads and feathers on the 23rd and dance with me in the celebration of life and have a "pink martini" or two ...

A Mosaic of Life

The 4th of July is almost upon us and with it comes many different feelings and memories both happy and sad. It is the birthday of our nation but is also the birthday of a longtime and best friend. For my partner and I it was the date that we choose to celebrate our anniversary. This year has been all about events and celebrations viewed alone with myself for the first time.

As this year has progressed day by day and event by event I have noticed one thing in particular. Life is as full or as empty as we perceive it to be. It is an intricate mosaic. A mosaic which, for better or worse, displays our very souls. Every persons mosaic is unique, unique as their finger prints. They do not merely consist of DNA but rather are woven of everything that we have ever seen, touched or tasted. Every experience that we had throughout our life passage. Much like the universe itself we are star dust and being of such we will shine or diminish accordingly.

My mosaic is quite colorful and full. It has been illuminated by such wonderful remembrances that if it could sing it would. Every tile was cast with the help of great friends and placed with loving care. It is a thing of beauty that when viewed for the first time seems too perfect. But a closer look reveals the cracks and lines that give it dimension. Perfection only exists in eye of the beholder and perfection is merely beauty at its best.

Therefore let us be aware of our lives, every minute, everyday. Let us revel in our existence as if it might be gone tomorrow, because it could. And let us add joy and happiness to each others mosaics so that they might help us in turn to complete our own.

The Jabberwocky

Last evening I was invited to a strange and wonderful event by a dear friend. A shadow puppet production of a Lewis Carroll poem "The Jabberwocky". It is a poem of nonsense verse that amazingly enough makes a lot of sense when spoken correctly for, much as life itself, many times things do not make sense if taken out of context but must rather be viewed from the right perspective

The production was put together by several talented local artists who managed to not only create the puppets and sets but then to execute this delight in a neighborhood automotive garage under the stary canopy of a perfect summers night.

As I watched the play and looked around me I was taken by the colorful variety of individuals and families gathered together for this common cause. Maybe, I thought, this is what life is really about. Not the hurried rush of computer generated images bombarding our minds and thoughts but rather a calm moment in the storm. An Oasis where we can gather as friends and neighbors and share the simple joy of innocent creation and happy conversation.

Happy Birthday!

Today was Jack's birthday. He would have been 61 this year but rather he will remain 60 forever now in my thoughts and memories. Who new that one year could be both so joyful and then in an instant so volatile.

The sadness of autumn has passed and with it my partner. Then the long and tenuous winter which seemed to linger too long gave way to an early but empty spring. Now perched on the cusp of summer I am finding my way into the beginnings of what might be a new direction.

It is said that there is a time and season for everything. Perhaps my time and season are finally at hand. I have said many times that worry and remorse are only good for those who enjoy reveling in them. I don't. Rather I would look to the summer sky and see in it hope of new days in the sun, to smell the aromas of summer feasts and delight in their tastes, and to touch and feel the warmth of friendships and revel in their consolations and encouragements. Memories of past embraces will of course never die nor should they but new experiences must be allowed to enter lest they and we cease to exist.

Today yet another spring storm has passed by and the song of our robin in the ash tree is telling me that it is time to open the doors and windows and let the fresh, and newly energised breath of the season into our house. The sun is piercing the dark clouds and a shaft of light is illuminating my paper lanterns on the deck. There seems to be a promise of an even more beautiful day tomorrow and, if I am really lucky, there just might be a rainbow too.