Just what is it that takes a good day and turns it around?
I was heading for home base just yesterday and then I ran smack dab into this invisible wall. I' m not really sure what it was but it hurt real bad. Maybe not as bad as a year ago, or six months ago, or for that matter, three months ago but it still hurts and probably always will.
I have asked myself over and over again, what is it that brings on the angst, really? Is it the touch of a strong yet gentle hand no longer there. Is it the words of love silently spoken every day now missing. Or might it be the deafening silence of laughter that once filled my heart no longer here. Perhaps it is all of these and probably more.
What I do know is that no matter how far away I travel from yesterday it is always just around the next corner. But you know what, it's also a comfort since it is a reminder of good times enjoyed and life lived well, of seasons in the sun and happiness beyond expectations. I guess that I should listen more closely to myself and not to the sounds around me because in my own domain I am totally content. It is only when I try to make sense of my life in comparison that I run into these walls of emotion. Better to be content in oneself then to desire the unattainable. Not that it is unattainable but rather at what cost.
So I will be joyful in remembrance and content in the present because the future is made from both ...
No comments:
Post a Comment