Karma, Kismet or Destiny

Call it Kismet, Karma or just plain old destiny ... There is one thing that remains true and that is, that it does exist.

These last two months have reminded me that there is more to life than working or, for that matter, just day to day living. If we are to be true to ourselves and enjoy life in the moment than we must be ready to embrace it in every and all forms.

As I have let go of my rudder this last year and given fate the reigns I seem to be much happier. Of course there is and will always be times of trouble and sadness but also those moments of pure joy. Just how we arrive at them is always a mystery. I thought for a while that I could be the master of my ship but have found that it tends to go with the tide. Would that I could trust more in providence I might be more relaxed.

You see, if one has charted their course wisely in the beginning then steering is only a secondary precaution so as not to run aground. I have found that my course is entrenched in a direction that I have always been comfortable with so therefore it is with great joy that I can let it ride.

Recently people both old friends and new have entered or re-entered my world and by doing so have re-energized me. Yesterday a person appeared in my life without warning. A person that took my breath away with the sounds of long lost remembrances. Feelings seemed to rise up from the barren earth and wash over me like a gentle rain. With every moment I seemed to be hoping for the next and when it happened I smiled. There is indeed such a thing as Karma or Kismet, and there can be happiness in our destiny if we desire it!

A Place in the Sun

There is a hole that occurs when one loses something, be it a possession, a pet or, most devastatingly, a friend. This hole cannot and should not be filled without careful consideration and most definitely not without much trepidation. As with any loss there is an important part of ourselves that dies with it and must be honored and kept in our heart. Like a black hole in the universe our energies must funnel into it and be destroyed before reconstituting and emerging as energy most pure.

Of late I have found myself trying to back fill the hurt and anguish with all and everything at my disposal but to no avail. It is not that the elements involved are incapable of leveling the ground at zero but maybe they are just not what is needed to heal that most special hurt.

While I find myself capable of reaching out and enjoying life again there is that boomerang effect that tears me apart and brings me back to start. I wonder if someday I might actually find a place to rest and rehabilitate ... a place in the sun again that will coddle and comfort me so that I might heal completely and entirely.

Is it that I am not seeing the obvious or that I am distracted by the mundane? Or maybe, just maybe without realizing it I am already there ...

Of Time Eternal

Some times life can surprise us but I think it is usually we who surprise ourselves. As we stumble through life with our heads full of cosmic clutter we can easily trip and fall over our own earth bound feet. Rather we should run with the wind and soar upward to the mountain top where we can see the valley from afar and listen to its song.

After living what seems like forever in the moment, I came to a bend in the road. While there are always bends in the road some are less obvious than others. When we think of our lives in terms of time it seems to be rather tedious I think, but when we realize that our lives are part of a time continuum it brings fourth so many more possibilities.

What is it that has not been touched by the hand of time? Lives, loves, friendships and more ... each and everything and everyplace - but more than that. Eternity exists in the moment of silence and it revels in the cosmic noise for without both neither would exist. Today I realised a stunning truth all over again ...when one moment dies another begins and so it must be.

As long as we continue to exist one day must follow the other, and as long as there is a sun and moon than so will there be an ebb and flow. So take heart in the fact that we are no more than what we feel and if we feel peace and happiness then so shall we be.

We are the night wind blowing

We are the full moon glowing

We are the sun that is shining

We are stardust

We are forever

Lobsta Roll Baby

Saturday - July 16th - somewhere up the river from Portsmouth New Hampshire ...

Today was the day of the "Lobsta Roll"!

This event can only happen once or twice a season or you would surely die ... This is how it takes place:

You get into the regulator (for you land lovers that is the dingy that is used to taxi you around after you have docked the main ship). The the search begins for the perfect local lobster shack - some place that is hidden away but legendary. Today we found one of those gems just up the river and it was beyond fantastic. Not only were the Lobsta rolls amazing but so too were the steamers, cold slaw, onion rings, chowder, rolls and god knows what else we managed to consume. After a meal such as this one can only lumber back to the boat (which is now quite a bit lower in the water) and groan your way home.

What a lovely day (burp)

Shadows

When you think about it, what is a shadow after all? It is the reflection of something that exists at that moment in time punctuated by the sunlight of our soul ... kind of like the negative produced by ancient technology when cameras were the event recorder "de jour".

As I look back my shadows are in fact not only moments in time but they are also the structural matter that has glued my life together. They existed once upon a time but they still exist as impressions of our lives; impressions that will never leave us for better or worse; impressions that are intricately apart of our very souls, and can live forever.

In our day to day existence in the universal muttle we can sometimes fail to realize the importance of our participation in this cosmic plazma. Our individual monitors - the very screens on which our lives are projected - can be either realized or ignored.

Today I saw so many shadows that they kind of overwhemed me ... shadows of past, present and future events that made me both happy and sad, joyous and glad, but ultimately content in the knowlege that my life has been so full.

When we reflect on our lives, I think perhaps the most important thing to remember is that they are only there because we remember them ... should we not remember than they will forget too.

The cosmos is a magical place ... I have found it a special place. It is a place of both shadows and sunlight, it is a place of eternal delight if we want it to be so.

So what have I learned today? Maybe the fact that yesterday was shadow and today is sunlight but tomorrow is a rememberance of both and therefore the culmination of it all ...

The River

There is a place where the river slows and you can rest from its flow, a place of quiet retreat, a place to reflect upon yourself and where your journey will lead.

Today I sat on the boat in Portsmouth Bay and watched the river flow by. The amazing strength of its tremendous tidal flow when rushing back to the sea is awesome indeed. At times it would seem that the boat could be enveloped in its current and swept away. Then in another instant a quiet pause, and stillness would bring a welcome time of flat water, a repose before refilling it self and beginning the journey all over again. It is as if the universe were breathing in rhythm with the planet and the waters were its blood flow.

I have felt this rhythm many times before in the power of the purple mountain majesty of the West Coast or in the serene silence of a desert morning, and in the wind blown plains of the Midwest. The face of god is imprinted on all these facets and formations making them and us most magical.

How fortunate we are to be apart of such magnificence and how grateful we should be to live in its reflections. If we could but sit back and breathe in its energy we could fly to the stars and swim in its cosmic ocean where time ceases to exist and eternity reigns supreme.

Tonight I will behold the magic of another full moon over the harbor and howl at its beauty. I already bristle at the awesomeness of the spectacle and how wondrous this ritual can be. I will think to myself how powerful the cosmos is but also just how fragile it and we can be.

I am at peace ...

Another Anniversay in Time

Two years and counting ... another anniversary in time.

Two years since my life hit the reset button. Two years since the universe changed course. And two years since I began to breathe again.

Time it seems is a unmeasurable quantity. If we try to add together the sum of its parts we find it to be lacking in the total of its dimension. Instead I think we must consider it a variable and take comfort in its arms.

As the parade of my life unfolds before me I find that every day whether large or small is a  gift most special. If not for the past there would be no future, and without the future there of course could be no past. If for no other reason time holds the cup of life in suspension and offers it to us when most needed.

Today, this day most special, as I feel the weight of a thousand summers on my soul I can only sit back and wonder how it was that once upon a time the promise of tomorrow rested sweet upon my lips while today the fruit is bitter sweet but still most desirable.

Perhaps the conclusion that should be taken rests in the arms of the gods ... yesterday, today and tomorrow are in fact all one in the same. Embrace them as you would your lover for together they are the meaning of the game.

Yesterday, today and forever I'll be loving you ...