A Place in the Sun

There is a hole that occurs when one loses something, be it a possession, a pet or, most devastatingly, a friend. This hole cannot and should not be filled without careful consideration and most definitely not without much trepidation. As with any loss there is an important part of ourselves that dies with it and must be honored and kept in our heart. Like a black hole in the universe our energies must funnel into it and be destroyed before reconstituting and emerging as energy most pure.

Of late I have found myself trying to back fill the hurt and anguish with all and everything at my disposal but to no avail. It is not that the elements involved are incapable of leveling the ground at zero but maybe they are just not what is needed to heal that most special hurt.

While I find myself capable of reaching out and enjoying life again there is that boomerang effect that tears me apart and brings me back to start. I wonder if someday I might actually find a place to rest and rehabilitate ... a place in the sun again that will coddle and comfort me so that I might heal completely and entirely.

Is it that I am not seeing the obvious or that I am distracted by the mundane? Or maybe, just maybe without realizing it I am already there ...