It is 4pm on the 14th of November 2014 - exactly 5 years since my partner Jack passed on and entered back into the cosmos. Funny how time comes and goes and in different degrees. This year seemed to loom a little more ominous than past one. Perhaps it is that I am remembering things more clearly than I did in the last years of seemingly endless sorrow.
I have adjusted, kind of, to my new life and have even found a new partner, who brings me great joy and happiness. So what is it that lingers in my soul to bring me these sometimes feelings of sadness and remorse?
I believe it is merely the fact that I am still, and always will be, in love with Jack - and should be after all those years of sharing and togetherness. It would be a sin to think that I could or should put those feeling away and forget that which has brought me such joy, and to who I am.
The challenge however, is to not let the feelings of the past perfect interfere with the new and profound feelings of the now!
The past perfect was just that and it will forever influence my feelings, like it or not. But the future is and must be lived in the present and I for one find it present perfect for me.
So thank you again Jack for your love without reservation, and thank you Chadwick for your ever growing love and understanding of who and what I am.
Life can and must be lived in the past, present and future perfect, if not they are all diminished!
No comments:
Post a Comment