Friday, November 4, 2022

Full Circle Again


“Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel with
in a wheel 

Never ending or beginning
On an ever spinning reel”

 Some say that life is a plan initiated and executed by a higher intelligence, an ultimate variable. Some say that it is the luck of the draw

 I say life is ours for the making if we just use the tools we were given when we were created

 Life, much like any other endeavor, must be cultivated and nurtured until it strong enough to resist the most persistent and vicious attacks on our souls

 Life however, unlike any other force, is created by an irresistible force that can in fact move immoveable objects. The strength of the Universal Continuum has no boundaries

  It is a circle within a circle, the Yin & Yang - Infinity if you will …


INTRODUCTION


 It occurred to me the other day that this year has been one of closure on so many fronts in preparation for the new reality of the post pandemic world.

 When I wrote my third book, I named it “My Fifth Reincarnation”, reincarnation in this sense meaning to readjust or reinvent if you will. Shortly thereafter I realized that there would be a sixth & probably a seventh at least. It is my opinion that all of us adjust our outlook on life as we grow and hopefully mature.

 With every new incarnation there comes much baggage and debris that are the remains of previous lives and adventures. Our goal should not be to throw those experiences away, but rather to use them to make our new life a better and more perfect one.

 I like to think of life as a Mosaic, each piece fitting into the others much like a picture puzzle, every piece unique. Every piece customized to our very special needs and desires.

 As the decades roll by, they seem to pick up speed and, in the end, become our essence, our reality realized through involvement with the people and things around us. We can use the knowledge that we accrue to make us one with the universe or we can ignore it and continue on a path of ignorance and self-deception.

Being a single gay man I have had perhaps a few more hurdles to jump through than most, but it has also been my good fortune to have so many mentors over the years, both straight and gay, people who have instilled in me the wisdom to follow my feelings in life and love, and the knowledge of how to live it. If I were to name them all I know that I would be missing as many so I won't, but suffice to say that each and every one of them contributed to making me be the person that I am today.

 

 So then, here is to our friends and relations. The people that give us life and the strength to live it. Here is to all our special others that nurture us and make us whole, and here is to all the love that is derived from that compilation which makes us better people.




Oh My Children!


And there came a call from the great beyond Oh my childrenWhat have you done

Krishna, Jesus, Mohamed and more Shed tears of love
For a planet at war

A globe in a universe A sphere in a cloud A world of negligence Once that was proud

A tangle of ignorance That opened the box The horrors of pestilence Set free by a plot

When greed and mendacity become the new norm than much like a virus the hosts become a swarm
Burning with the ferocity of a thousand fires
The earth becomes a furnace and we become its pyres

Beware my children and do not wait for naught when our scorched and bleeding planet lay in chaos and our souls are left to rot

Thursday, November 3, 2022

A posting of one of my new Novellas that will be part of my new Tetralogy "Full Circle Again"


The Aging of an Aquarian

The Art of Living in the Millennium 


I have always been a Creature of the Air, never wanting to be tied to any one set place or time. My wanderings, both real and imagined have taken me to the far corners of the universe and back again.

Time and space are the place that I prefer to inhabit, and while it can be a bit of an austere existence, it is the special place that I have chosen to call home.

What is it that makes us who we are and how we embrace this thing called life?

Whether you are religious, agnostic or just spiritual, there is a basic common ground when it comes to the theory of a universal continuum.

With that in mind suffice to say that any path we may choose to reach our authentic selves should and will work if we are true to the task.

This is and was my journey through the many reincarnations that have brought me to where I am today.

From Christian beginnings, dabbling into Islam and Hinduism, followed by Buddhism and Secular/Atheisms and have finally arrived at what I call Universal Spiritualism. After all aren’t religions just a tool to teach us how to live and let live.

So there you have it. This is my road map in the continuum, now you just need to find yours …




Portugal & Spain 

The tranquility that is Portugal is more than compensated for by the rush of energy that is Spain. The day I arrived in Spain was magical. It was my first time ever in Europe, and although Spain and Portugal are physically part of the European Continent they are a unique collection of sates that tend to be rather isolated in their cultures gleaning from both French and Italian in the north, northern African in the south, and most definitely British on the East Coast. 

 It was the year that I had broken up with my first partner in Chicago and needed, I thought, to take a sabbatical of sorts to prepare myself for a new relationship. Alone on another continent and fancy free for the first time in my young life, I eagerly set out to conquer the world. Awkward in my approach, and very much unseasoned in international travel, I stumbled my way through Madrid, and by train to Seville and Barcelona. Then taking an overnight boat to Majorca and finally ending up in Toledo before heading back to the US. I must say that the experience was totally amazing, and the fact that I didn’t fall prey to thieves or predators taught me a lot about how to conduct myself in various and sundry situations still today. Back then, Franco was President and ruled with an iron fist. 

The Spanish people both loved and feared him, as he was truly a benevolent dictator. I remember arriving in Barcelona late in the evening with no reservations and only my few pieces of luggage to consul me. I was recommended by my taxi driver to a somewhat shady looking hotel down by the harbor. Upon entering the lobby and being shown to the front desk, I suddenly realized that my luggage was not with me. Apparently the driver had left it on the platform at the train station. Jumping back into the cab we made our way back to station in hopes that it would have been found. Believe it or not my bags were still exactly where I had left them. At the time Franco was still President of Spain and ruled with an iron fist, and things like theft were frowned on, and dealt with swift punishment. I guess there are some things that work better under a benevolent Dictatorship. 

 I had heard of an Island called Mallorca just to the south and east of Barcelona which was quite the international party destination and of course I had to experience it. So off I went to sea on an overnight boat ride to the ultimate disco party, and it was quite the scene. Arriving at dawn in Mallorca with the Cathedral still lite and welcoming us was like a scene from an old Cary Grant movie. The day was just beginning and I was exhausted from my overnighter. Being alone had begun to take its toll. Not speaking the language back then was a bit of a problem, and running low on funds wasn’t helping the matter. The next day I made the decision that it was time to go home, but wanted to make one more stop on the mainland. Toledo was calling and I was listening. 

 Another boat ride, this time to Valencia where I positioned myself to make the final journey in my Spanish Odyssey. Renting a car and driving due west to Toledo was magical. The manicured forests and fields of a land that has existed for over a century gave way to the ancient edifices of a time when art and beauty mingled to adorn the mantles of kings and queens, a time of resplendent glory, and a time of witchcraft and religion. The hour was late and the sun had already set on this land of light. I was weary from my long day of travels and looking for a place to spend the night. As I passed through the rolling hills of Toledo I saw a castle in the distance that was beckoning me. 

The castle has a ruin from yesterdays gone by but the location and surrounding grounds were inviting and comforting. I decided to spend the night. The sunlight of a new morning awoke me and told me it was time to move on. Arriving in Toledo was a religious experience indeed. The Church tower was reflecting the already risen sun and the sounds of the early marketers in the square where at the stands reading for the shoppers soon to arrive. Café con leche and a Napolitana de chocolate for breakfast and I was off to see the city and its sights. 

 Finding a place to stay the night was easy as most tourists are in town for only the day and then retreat to their digs in Madrid. I was lucky however to find a charming monastery called Al Magra just outside the city limits, but close enough to make the journey a pleasant one. The next morning I was off to Madrid to catch my plane back to the US. Still spell bound by what had happened in those two amazing weeks of my first international experience. It was truly a life changing adventure which would lead me to many more such marvelous moments that would add to my mosaic of life to come. It would take several years for me to find my way back to the continent, and when I finally did it would be with my new life partner. 

The dye was cast and for the next 30 years I would be globetrotting and dancing around the sun as a crazy, free spirited Aquarian should.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

PANDEMIC

 


PANDEMIC

 

Perhaps it was to be expected, as we began to unleash the raw elements of the universe with no real idea of what to expect. Or could it be that some of us did know but didn't really care? 

 After all we are living in a virtual world these days where anything is possible with little left to the imagination. Reality is merely a click away.

So here we are after three years of mismanagement leading to a catastrophic hole being punctured in our society, our beliefs thrown aside, and our sacred institutions rippled apart and cast asunder.

I fear that we have opened Pandora's Box big time and it will take decades to resolve our deliberate mistakes. The dragons of hatred are burning with a fury that has not been seen since the holocaust. Racism and Bigotry have been unleashed , and even encouraged.

Global warming, economic inequality,  social injustice, and a Pandemic the likes of which we have not seen in a millennium, all contributing to the apocalyptic times that we must navigate.

 It has been said that there is no future without a past, but the past is sometimes a culmination of missteps that, whether deliberate or accidental, must be realized and dealt with in order to move on in the right direction.

Fortunately for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, hopefully to keep the balance of the universe intact. If not than we are lost.

Could it be that the simple answer to our dilemma is love? In the words of the Buddha - "happiness can be achieved only by practicing love. Without love, there is no happiness, and true happiness comes from true love. The true unconditional love overwhelms your heart and it has power to heal while bringing deep meaning into our lives".

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thoughts. It is made up of our thoughts. If one speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows one, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the wagon.

And on that thought I would like to share a quote from Kahil Gilbram -
"You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept."

As an Aquarian born under an air sign, I have always been intrigued by the "Ages" of the Zodiac, their special powers and their place in the grand scheme of the Universe itself.

The Yin and Yang of the millions of diverse yet amazingly combatable particles and energy's that make up our solar system, and the other millions as well, are truly amazing.

When ever there is a transition, whether it be mental, physical, or spiritual there is an accompanying chaos that must occur in order to facilitate that change. Hence we see it happening in real time now as we survey the aftermath of our radical times.

2016 - The year it all started to fall apart.

A new era of greed and corruption began to gain momentum as the newly elected administration began to dismantle rules and regulations that, up until then were held sacred. Constraints were lifted so that the wealthy could get richer more quickly, at the expense of the poor and middle classes.

It was actually during the Regan administration that things began to change for the worse. The idea of trickle down economics never did make much sense to me as "water usually dries up before it gets all the way down". Enough said.

After several decades of maneuvering ways to avoid corporate tax breaks, downsizings, outsourcing and de-contenting our economy began to show signs of ware and tear. In addition we had been through several "recession/depressions". Our infrastructure had been neglected for two decades, and moral compasses had become corrupted. Enter disillusionment, discontent and despair.

What happens when a society looses its direction and leadership becomes corrupted? It becomes frightened and confused.  In the midst of a deadly virus and incompetent leadership chaos prevails. Old hatreds reemerge - racism, bigotry raise they ugly heads.

Thankfully we got a reprieve for the moment and now, if we get ourselves together, there looks to be a long and well deserved era of rebirth coming to us. As the song goes "when the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars. Then peace will role the planet and love will steer the stars..."

 


It was early in 2019 that I noticed a change in my vision. That January my ENT had ordered a CAT Scan which reveled something going on with my pituitary gland. He subsequently recommended an MRI which showed signs of a small tumor glowing close to where the optical nerves converge.

After meeting with a Neurosurgeon I was told that it was in fact a very small and benign tumor, and that I should not have to worry about for several years as they tend to grow extremely slow. In about a month my vision had continued to worsen and I began to worry.

I made an appointment with two different Ophthalmologists both told me that I was experiencing macular degeneration.

It was suggested that I take some medications and hope for the best, but always looking for homeopathic alternatives I started a series of acupuncture treatments.

Nothing seemed to be working and my vision was continuing to get worse.

My husband and I had rented a house in Palm Springs for the season and felt that it would be good to get away into the sunshine. Palm Springs has always been a touch stone for me and maybe this would help.

It seemed that the whole world was going into crisis and my dilemma only made me feel more endangered, much like a wounded animal who would be expelled from the herd. Funny how drama begets drama, and chaos can cause contemp. 

The second Ophthalmologist had been a little more caring and concerned so I made an appointment to talk with him again once we returned from Palm Springs. He asked me to get some tests while I was out there and referred me to a second Neurologist. Finally it was determined that it was in fact the tumor that needed to be dealt with, and sooner than later.

We were now ending our stay in the desert and, as luck would have it, something identified as COVID-19 had begun to rage in New York, and on the 
West Coast.


Sunday, April 18, 2021










Sunday Morning

It is 6:30am on a Sunday morning in April. The sun has touched the tops of our Austrian Pine Trees and the world is quiet around me like a leafy, lazy comforter gently coaxing me to stay in bed and ponder the day.

I stretch out my arms and legs and find only cool empty space and the world is mine for the moment. Little snippets of life such as these are wonderful in their purity and for the moment I feel as though I am floating above the earth and time in a cocoon of cotton candy.

In another moment a Robin appears and breaks the silence with his call. A soft breeze blows and the leaves begin to rustle and my body tells me it is time to re- enter the real world and begin another day.

At once several more birds appear, a man walks by below with his dog and my tranquility has been shattered. The city is encroaching again and my fortress of solitude has been breached.

But it is Sunday morning after all - a day of rest and reflection. I think that I might just roll over and slip under the covers for while longer. The day will wait for me I'm sure ...

Sunday, March 28, 2021


  • Once, when I was a younger man, I asked my boss what it was that he had done before he became CEO of his company. He replied that “in his other life” he had been a salesman and had traveled the country meeting with accounts and enjoying the single life on the road. “Other Life” I thought? How many lives can one person have, and how many does one need?

  • Reflecting back on that moment today, I would have to answer that we all have as many lives as we need to. Some are passive, others more aggressive, and still others have a life of their own.

  • In my preteens I was my parent’s child being molded by their example and wishing for a time when I could be grown up. 

  • In my teens and twenties, I was a head strong young man striving to find my place in the world and to break free of the childhood ties that kept me prisoner.

  • Arriving at my thirties, I was the adult that I had so desired to be, but there was still that lack of personal freedom that I so desired.

  • Enter forty, and I found myself ready to be my own man. Starting my own business and taking a life partner, I very much felt the successful ingénue that I had strived to be.

  • It wasn’t however until the age of sixty that I realized my full potential. Having survived four previous incarnations and the death of a long time life partner I felt myself broken and exhausted. But instead of lying down for the count I picked myself up and with the help of my husband Chadwick, I began to build a new and even more perfect life in which to flourish.

  • Will there be a sixth incarnation? Perhaps if need be. But I would rather like to think that this time is the last time. And from this point forward the best is yet to come … It must be!