Sing Me A Love Song

2021 has entered my life as an intruder might enter one's home, unannounced, unwanted and surely unexpected. Stealthily coming in the form of a new day's morn it has tried to seduce me with the promise of renewal but in fact is exhibiting all the traits of a pending disaster in the making.

There is this feeling that I get from time to time. It is sensation that I am naked and alone standing on the edge of a sheer cliff overlooking a vast empty canyon filled with frozen nothingness. Alone and cold I turn to the warming light of a failing sun and realize that it is all just a dream, or is it?

I wonder on occasion, is it life that creates the reality or is it reality that gives us life?

Would that I could blindly trust, to put my fate into its hands and ride along on the wings of certitude, but having been fooled before I find it difficult to embrace chance again.

Rather this time I think I will stay the road of the doubter ever seeking solace in the arms of suspicion, for to give too much to luck is dangerous. While the believer is happy, the doubter is wise.
Many times I have told myself that what I really desire is the ability to stand alone and breathe the energies of life, but how is it possible to do so if you are not emersed in them? Maybe the answer is in the question.

I believe that as we collectively grow as human entities we must of needs be nourished by that collective consciousness. Granted we are constantly editing our intake but sometimes we become blocked. Perhaps we are taking in too much which will end up making us anxious, or perhaps we are too cautious and therefore being undernourished.

In any event, I have found myself many times on that cliff but never so close to the edge before as this last year. Is it because of my age or maybe my increased awareness of it all, or could it just be the fact that I am ready again for that next plateau. So maybe I am not in fact jumping but instead climbing. All I really know is that every plateau, every decade that I have walked and climbed has made me stronger and wiser than that before. But with all the wisdom and strength mustered from these journeys the thing that I most desire is love for it is in love that all the rest comes to rest, and in its arms becomes fulfilled. Much like sun to the earth or moon to the seas without a pairing there is only the solitude.

So I open myself to the universe one more time in hopes that love and life will rain down on my new plateau so that it will be fertile and blossom. Armed with my new attitude and groomed by seasons of snow and ice I will set out this new age with the courage that comes from knowledge of self, the inner fire which burns brightly in the bonfires of my soul. I will take up the sword of wisdom and with loving remembrance forge a path to another and hopefully better future where exists the means to love again this life that I call mine.