Spring Eternal

As the spring is threatening to make an appearance, it occurred to me that maybe I might have outgrown my life. You may ask how is that possible and I might say just this:

Eventually we all, some time or another, find ourselves in a situation where we are no longer comfortable to just sit and observe life as it marches by.

I have noticed for the last several months that I find myself bored and irritated by life as it exists around me. I find that I have so much more to offer than that which is offered to me. When did this happen? I really don't know but I think that it was when I first met my other half. In that moment real time ceased to exist for me for many years and when I emerged in later life I found that I had more or less time warped myself into another dimension. A place of love and life without restrictions, a place of comfort and warmth, a place called home. So here I am a year and a half after my return to a mundane earth, a place not to my liking but still strangely familiar.

What does one do when a love affair is over? Well first of all it is not and never will be over, but outside of that minor detail I think that the answer must be that you need to relive it again and again. You must live it as many times as need be to keep it alive and well because it is you, it is your soul and it is your substance. It is the things that dreams are made of, and it is your only salvation.

I must confess something in order to make my point. When I was a young man first landed in this metropolis I most definitely was deficient in the ways of life. It took many years and many loves to bring me to where ever it is I am today. Am I happy with the product that was forged from the fires of experience? I think yes. But at the same time it has left me wanting more and on my own terms.

What is life if not the dream of eternal happiness? It is here that I take issue with Buddha, Krishna, Christ and all the rest. Life is meant to be lived with vigor and tenacity. It is meant to be volatile and tumultuous. It is meant to be everything that it can be, because only if it is lived to the fullest will be remembered in the forever.

Come on spring - I'm ready!