My Friends and Family

Last night I was invited to a gathering of friends and family for the celebration of a special birthday. As the evening started it was apparent that everyone there had one thing in common and that was the birthday boy. It was so refreshing to be amongst such warm and thoughtful people, and to be a part of that unique occasion for it is not often in my experience that this kind of thing transpires with such ease and grace. What, I thought to myself, made the evening so special and how did these people come together? As the evening continued it became very obvious that the person whose anniversary we were celebrating was the pivot that brought and kept them all, together and served as the patriarch as well.

Last night reminded me of another occasion when family and friends gathered in the hills above the city of Florence for another special event. It was that night that my partner and I celebrated our 25th year anniversary and "the family" was there as well. Every family or group, or gathering has at its center a special person or thing that drives it and makes it work. My friend Alan is that person, a kind and gentle man who has gained the love and respect of both family and friends and stands as an example of how it is and should be done. All it really takes is honesty with self and others and understanding that each and all while special and unique can still be part of that unit.

Being a single gay man I have had perhaps a few more hurdles to jump than most but it has also been my good fortune to have so many mentors over the years, both straight and gay, to help me. People who have instilled in me the wisdom to follow my feelings in life and love, and the knowledge of how to live it. If I were to name them all I know that I would be missing as many so I won't, but suffice to say that each and every one of them contributed to making me be the person that I am today.

As birthdays and anniversaries come and go there is one thing that always remains a constant and that is the fact that good friends and family will always be there should you need them. But, don't forget that they must be nurtured as well. When there is a need or in crisis they are the support that is there to shore us up and help us move forward - if not then there is a hole in the soul that must be mended and made whole again so that we can stand our ground and be proud to be part of that very special gathering again.

So then, here is to our friends and relations. The people that give us life and the strength to live it. Here is to all our special others that nurture us and make us whole, and here is to all the love that is derived from that compilation which makes us better people.