I was turning channels on my TV this morning when I came across a strange little movie called Pirate Radio starring a motley cast of English heavyweights along with Philip Seymour Hoffman. Pretty much of a B movie all in all but there was a redemption. There is this scene where The Count (Philip Seymour Hoffman) tells his godson Carl (Tom Sturridge) that he had a terrible thought which has stuck in his mind and will probably be there forever; that thought was that "these were the best days of their lives".
I know that thought very well since I have had it many times in my life and I now seem to be having it again. But the point here is that I am having it again! How many times can one say this? The answer I think is as many times as you can.
Life doesn't have to end at the end of a chapter, nor should it. No we can't put the book down every time there is a chapter that doesn't fulfill our expectations. Either we go on reading until we find that next happy part or perhaps we rewrite. In any event it must not be thrown in the dust bin just because of a temporary down turn.
As I watched the movie I thought to myself why don't I rewrite my life one more time. But after all the rewrites that I have already done I'm not sure exactly what it is that I want anymore. Sounds strange I know but there comes a time when you just need to sit back and watch someone else for a while. You need to re- energise and to recalibrate. Maybe the book is finished and just needs the notes and a denouement. Each of us has our own index and our own number of pages on which to write. Some of us are novels and others are short stories but all of us have content and a story to tell. Whether we choose to elaborate or not is the question. How much do we love life or has it all been spent? I have had many best years but I hope that there will be more.
So I guess the answer to the riddle lies in the question of who we are and where we are, and how long do we want to be there. I'm still standing for the moment ...
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