Today I grabbed a jacket out of the closet to venture out to lunch, the weather being a little chilly all be it April. I noticed a pair of reading glasses in one of the pockets that belonged to my partner Jack. This happens quite often as I still hold on to lots of things that belonged to him because they are most definitely a comfort and a reminder of life most beautiful. I discovered however something else that rocked my world one more time. It was a slip of paper that had an address written in his hand. It was the restaurant where we had had our last lunch. The very thing that I had avoided these many months had come back to confront me.
What does one do when confronted with the inevitable truth, the one that has stalked you forever since? I'm still not really sure. I cried, I remembered, I hurt. But you know the thing that I did best perhaps was to cry and remember because in so doing I relived and enjoyed again - one more time.
It is I think most important not to bury memories and love with loss. Love can and should go on forever and in its forevers become stronger and more beloved. Isn't it these rememberances that make the whole thing make sense; and isn't it after all the feelings and the love that make it ok? When the weight of life pushes down on us and makes us hurt it is in that moment that we call on these strengths to shore us up and help us to cope.
So my apologies to one and all for my transgression but I had to get this one out.
Thank you Jack for the reminder. Spring is here or will be shortly and I love you!
No comments:
Post a Comment