Thirty Nights in the Desert

It occurred to me that my time in the desert was to be Thirty. A mystical number you ask? No, merely the number of days on my lease. A month of rest and quite time to search my soul and meditate on life. This is my way of cleansing the body and soul through the forces of nature. What could be more natural. Thirty days and thirty nights to reunite myself with the mountain gods and to breathe in their mystic powers. Thirty to recharge my vitamin D in the desert sun.

It is said of the desert that it is a desolate place where only the strong can survive and the weak must succumb to its deadly cold and heat. I have found in fact the opposite to be true. Granted it is not a place where one walks without some caution but it can be cultivated to serve ones purpose. I gain a raw energy from its rocks and soil. To breathe the fresh air cleaned by the mountain pines is exhilarating.

My desert is resplendent in its beauty waring the barren sands like a mantle of a queen. Mostly buried are its real treasures that come to life in the winter rains. Once awakened the spectacle is unforgettable. Nature at it most magnificent. When the desert blooms the mountains stand in awe for to see the pungent colors in such mass is truly breath taking.

What have I gleaned from my desert stays? Mostly that life is merely a mirage of our own making, that it can be coaxed and conjured to whatever degree that we desire. The desert has taught me that to be alone is not necessarily to be lonely, and that to be arid and dry does not necessarily hinder fertility.

There is an energy here that I feel compelled to visit once a year or so. For many it is the lakes or oceans that fill their souls but my sun sign requires earth and fire. Many times I have come to this place and many times I have felt its awesome powers. To live without its touch would be most difficult and most definitely a lonely place.

Liquid Sunshine

The liquid sun ripples over my body washing away the worries of the day and the desert breezes dry my fears. Another day in paradise a place of sanctuary to which my life can escape. Mindless hours in the sunshine and the soul is healed for the time at least. Tomorrow can not be far away for the shadows of the mountain are shading today and if I listen very still I can hear their voices echoing from the hills. A bountiful day such as this really only exists if you want it to. There are times that I miss the occasion completely, so wrapped up in my mundane worries. Problems created by my our making in order to insure mortality I think.

So today then a journey up the mountain again. This time however it is the highway to heaven. Up the arid southern slope winding my way to the big valley in the sky. Then as if by magic arid turns to to lush pine and the clouds descend. At once I am emerged in a cloud forest of pine and peace. I think to myself "what if I were to stay in this place forever" but I retort "not possible for you would surely cease to exist up here for this is not your time". So I wind my down the northern slope back to reality in the desert. From clouds to desert is an awesome journey. One that I think we must all take at least occasionally  for if we do not how else can we experience the total bliss of our emotions laid bare and open.

Back then to the desert warmth and the welcoming pool of dreams because in its embrace I can feel the lazy, healing solace of a moment in time that I will revisit again many times and more.

Awakenings

What is it that makes us grieve? Is it that we have lost something dear, something or someone precious. Or is it that we merely are morning our own mortality.

As I have walked through this last year of new life I have found that it not so much the physical that I miss, it is the spiritual and, if you will, the transcendent nature of love. I have come to realize however that the spiritual or transcendent love which I have experienced in the past has not gone away, in fact it is still with me every bit as strong. Love like energy does not die, it transforms into other incarnations. Would it be that we could see it we would be overwhelmed to find that it is everywhere. It is the fiber of the cosmos and the substance of galaxies. It is nature, it is energy, it is forever.

During one of my desert meditations while looking out over the vast sea of sand I became aware that the desert itself was merely the transformation of rock into sand, and that the mountains were only the compilation of sand and minerals compacted into stone and granite. Therefore, I thought to myself, how can I grieve these transformations. Would I not be better served to celebrate them and be one with them.

The real issue here is not that the energy of love is gone but that its physical face has changed. We are creatures of the flesh and being such have the need to touch the physical. Could we give up our physicality we would not need love we would be it. Life as we know it ultimately is or leads to suffering and loss in one way or another. But do we want to give up our physical life, I think not. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world and the universe.

The Moon Over the Mountain

It is five o'clock on a Sunday morning. One of my ever earlier desert awakenings. It would seem that one would sleep well in the desert and you do, but in segments I find. While the desert is eternally silent there are ghosts that wander thru its dunes and high deserts. The Joshua Tree Spirit for one, reaches its hands up to the sky in prayer at sunset while at the same time the mountain spirits roam the cliffs and pine forests under the crescent moon in search of other souls seeking sanctuary.

At times I find myself so filled with these silent offerings that my dreams become manifest in a surge of energy. Taking flight they are suspended over the valleys and mountains in a desert song. But when the moon and stars are aligned just right so as to caress the mountain tops and the planets embrace the desert dunes there are those magic moments of total tranquility that are so intense that they call out in silent verse and envelope me in their song.

It is then at sunrise, in the desert, under the the mountain that I live in the reality of life and love and memories yet to be made. Memories that will surely sustain me until the next desert sunrise and beyond. More than this is the promise that as long as there is the moon and the mountain everything else will follow in turn.

Desert Mirage

As one sits and looks out over the vastness of the desert and its mountain containment's, images begin to appear. Clouds, as they peek out from the mountain top, become fractured by the power of the deserts thermo updrafts and then transform into shapes and patterns of endless variety. The shadows of the desert capture the soul of the terrain and in a magical moment release them in a burst of solar energy, shape shifting on the desert sands. Can this spectacle become any more astounding? I think not. This place is a paradise without rival. Those who I bring to my oasis agree that life here is eternal if only for the moment.

For many years now I have befriended this place, my desert, my mountains. It is part of my very soul. But to be here always can not be. When we discover a place, a moment or a certain feeling that makes us euphoric maybe it is better that we keep it in our hearts and use it only when needed. After all anything in excess is always exhausted and then the search for replacement must begin again.

My other half and I have lived in this place for many moments and by doing so have been metamorphosed into one with it. Could it be that all one really needs to be eternal is to be one with nature. Would that the desert and mountain claim our spirits in the end so that we may live as one with them forever.

A Desert Morning

It is 7am on a beautiful winters morning in Palm Springs. The sun is warming the shade and the hummingbirds are begining to make their rounds. A desert Blue Jay is sitting on the chaise lounge and a lizard is sunning himself on a palm leaf.

As I sit in my chair by the pool I am listening to the wonderful silence that only the desert can hear. The rustle of a distant bird, the whisper of a desert breeze, the gurgle of the pool as it filters and warms. What could be more serene. It is times like this that life seems to be satisfied. Moments of magic that set a tone for inner piece and introspection. It is hard to be lonely when surrounded by such boundless beauty but would that it could be sharred. I think to myself, but I am sharring this moment. I am sharring with nature and time, with the desert creatures and more.

I know that there will be times when my silence is broken by the other sounds of the day and that this tranquil time is brief. Later will come visits from neighbors and friends and the day will take on another dimension. So, I rest my head on the chaise lounge by the gurgling pool and listen to the desert silence knowing that in that silence is the answer to all my questions. If I can just be still like the lizard in the sun, the moment will come again.

The Mountain in Me

Walking toward its face I feel the energy emerge like a fountain head in the rock erupting with centuries old secrets stored in its earth stone crust. From a distance you can see it standing mighty in it's magnificent majesty but being at it's feet is to know the true magnitude of its power.

Casting a mighty shadow on both valley and desert the granite god gives life to all who worship at its alter. Waters springing forth from it's bare rock create misty lakes and streams offering drink to the Flora & Fauna that cling to its side. Pine trees crown it's regal head and clean the air caught in its mane. Ancient spirits dwell in its forests and fields of sage grass gleaning sustenance from it's essence while mountain sprites run through its hills and valleys.

In the desert morning as the sun surfaces over the horizon of neighboring mountains my mountain comes to life being touched by the first rays of solar light. At first the top most peak begins to glow like a beacon announcing the new day. Then as the minutes progress the entire mountain ignites and glows in a morning embrace. The day has begun and as the mountain warms, the entire valley applauds the spectacle as nature itself takes a first breath.

While the mountain watches over the desert day I feel a special connection to its magnetic charm, as though it is trying to tell me that I am safe while standing in its embrace and secure in the knowledge that it will always be there. How many times have I visited its peaks and slept in its shadow, and how many times have I felt its presence in my dreams. Would that I could always be in its protection and play in its forests of pine forever again with my past perfect memories.

The High Desert

There it is again, my friend, my nemesis, my lover! The desert in the mountain, a sea of sand in the air. Walking through it's dunes conjures thoughts and memories both old and new, both happy and sad, but always beautiful.

A serene siren this magical mirage both takes the mind to other places and holds it in suspension at once. Drifting on the cool white current the soul can take time to soak in the silence and heal. To walk in it's wake is to know true bliss but to touch it's surface is to feel it's fragility.

When walking on memories it is best to be aware that while tranquil and trusted the destination can be volatile as well. I have seen times when the sands take flight and in a moment become a most formidable foe. Never deliberate in their destruction the sands of time merely move where the winds of fortune blow them. Their purpose is not defined.

So what of this journey into liquid earth? What reason for the venture into timeless time? Perhaps only just the moment itself. For as the sand can be compressed and liquid glass emerge, so the soul when freed on wings of love can soar higher than the mightiest bird.

Destination accomplished ... My soul is free again

The View From Above

It is truly amazing what the emotions can bring into play when touched upon, like the strings of a celestial harp.

As I am flying over the purple mountain majesty of Bryce Canyon winging my way to the gentle comfort of Palm Springs I find myself suddenly overcome with a feeling of euphoria. The tears begin as I am once more reminded of moments of past perfect bliss. Perhaps I think, I might be able to bring the desert to life with my tears and to rejuvenate life in suspension with a kiss. From above it seems possible since I am not grounded. To float on the lithe air in the clouds affords me a moment in suspension. Seeing the mountains being swallowed by drifting dunes of sand, rivers carving elaborate patterns in the earth like matelasse fabric, and the misty valleys with fret work fields of humanity remind me of another time.

I remember many life times ago a moment such as this. It was the first time that I was physically in flight. I have always been a creature of the air and enjoy nothing better than to be there, but when the physical joins the spiritual magic can happen.

So what is it that I see when I look out at the desert and purple mountains from above? I see my life which has been laid from city to desert and from mountain to sea. I see a map of what not only might have been but also what which can and will be.

I am happy for the moment ...